


Acomoclitic

by Moment_of_Tangency (orphan_account)



Series: In which Jaime is long-suffering [3]
Category: DC Animated Universe, DCU, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Best Friends, Dubious Consent, I don't even understand, M/M, Male Friendship, Manipulation, Masturbation, Mild Kink, acomoclitic, bart jesus christ, jaime definitely has the hots for bart, kind of, more like the removal of the hair, not really - Freeform, pubephilia, what does that even mean really?, what the fuck ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:59:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Moment_of_Tangency
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all knew Bart was a kinky motherfucker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Acomoclitic

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a seriously long time since I updated this series - or posted anything for that matter - and for that I'm so sorry, college has literally been kicking me in the balls and I've only just now gotten around to writing this story what with it being the holiday season and everything. So anyways, I apologize for the unsightly amount of time this took and hope you guys aren't too mad at me..?
> 
> Also, please pretend Bart's nickname's for Jaime were a product of their past together in their non-powered AU. I liked them too much to just get rid of them.

"Bart!" Jaime squeaked, backing up until the back of his knees hit the bed and he had to flail to keep from falling over. "What are you doing?!" he asked as Bart advanced on him, brandishing an electric bikini trimmer like it was a weapon - which, in the right hands, it very well could be. Being a superhero was extremely dangerous work, Jaime couldn't be blamed for his reactions or any drastic measures he took to put distance between him and the initimidating instrument of torture currently in his friend's hand.

"What does it look like, I'm helping you out amigo. Duh," he chirped as he rolled his eyes and indicated for Jaime to stop moving. "Jesus Blue, don't be so dense." He came closer and Jaime held his hands out, palms displayed, to hold him off while he tried to stop himself from having a complete mental breakdown.

"I can do it myself ese!" Jaime squealed, heart beating fast. He mentally flinched at how high his voice had gotten in his alarm but Bart could be kind of intense when he wanted to be and he hadn't been prepared for the younger kid to come on quite so strongly. He was being so stubborn; it was just a stupid dare and Jaime had already promised he would follow through with his end of the bargain so why was Bart being so adamant about it?

"Yeah, ok BB, what are you gonna do when you get to the hard parts?" Bart pressed, edging towards Jaime but the other boy was resolute, shaking his head feverently even as his face flushed. It was true that he and Bart were close friends and it was true that Bart had gotten him out of more than one sticky situation but Jaime had to draw the line somewhere.  _Besides,_ Jaime thought as he attempted to hold firm,  _if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything right?_ He was pretty sure that was the saying and he didn't even know where he'd heard it from but he really hoped it was true because the silence in the room at the moment was deafening. For a moment they just looked at each other, the tension in the room escalating until suddenly - it was gone. As if it had never been there at all. The only evidence Jaime had to verify that the moment had even happened was the bead of sweat rolling down from the nape of his neck to the small of his back. Bart rolled his eyes and sighed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Fine," he drawled, tossing the bikini trimmer at Jaime who fumbled to catch it. "But don't come crying to me when you knick something important and bleed out."

Jaime blanched and whipped his gaze up to focus on Bart who was nodding sagely.

"Yep, I knew a guy once who was dared into manscaping too," Bart murmured as he slowly paced towards the door, his voice taking on the haunted tone of the experienced horror story narrator. Jaime gulped. "Nice guy; not the sharpest tool in the shed. Tried to do it himself and ended up cutting some major artery. By the time the meds got there, there was blood all over the place, practically soaking into the rug, and-"

"Ok!!" Jaime yelled, his face pale, just as Bart made it to the doorway. Bart paused, not turning around, as Jaime cleared his throat and tried to lower his voice to a more acceptable level. "Ok. Don't go. You can do it, just..." he trailed off, trying to come up with the right words. What did you say to someone who was literally about to have your junk in their hands? "Be careful ok?" he finished lamely. A second paused but it felt like an hour. Jaime fidgeted.

"Crash!" Bart exclaimed as he pivoted on his heel and strode quickly back into the room, only barely keeping himself in check. "Don't you worry a bit Blue, I've got surgeon hands - totally steady." Jaime yelped as Bart took the trimmer from his hands and pushed him back onto the bed, briskly unbuttoning his jeans and yanking them off in the time it took Jaime to blink.

"Wai-" he gasped as Bart pulled his shirt off next. Suddenly his chest was exposed to the cool air and he shivered, goosebumps appearing on his skin, as Bart reached for the waistband of his boxers. Jaime's eyes flew wide open and he shot up, hands protecting his package. "Hold on a second!" he yelled, voice wavering and unsteady. Bart stilled and looked up, his eyes meeting Jaime's. For a moment their harsh breathing was the only sound in the room, ridiculously loud against the quiet. Jaime looked away first, bringing a hand up to clutch his chest as he focused on getting air into his lungs. His heart felt like it was taking a hammer to his ribcage and, judging by his flushed skin, Bart was going through the same thing. Slowly though, their breathing quieted and Bart flashed a grin, composed already.

"What? Don't tell me you're moded now?" he joked, letting his hand settle just above the fabric of Jaime's boxers. "I mean, you can back out any time - no worries dude, I'm not gonna judge you - I just thought it'd be kinda embarrassing trying to explain to Batman exactly  _why_ you got to see the inside of an ambulance-"

"I'm not backing out!" Jaime interrupted, his irritation making him defensive. He was finding it hard not to narrow all of his attention to Bart's warm hand on his hip, or to notice how his nipples had hardened in the chill air right where Bart could see them. "Just- Don't go so fast..." he mumbled.

Bart shrugged then went to work removing the boxers. "Sure thing BB, whatever you say," he replied, exaggerating his movements until he looked like he was in slow motion. Jaime rolled his eyes but he smiled so Bart smiled back, dropping the boxers onto the floor and turning on the trimmer. He moved Jaime's legs, instructing him to hold them up and out of the way, then paused. Jaime squirmed.

"What?" he finally asked, a bit nervous. He was completely naked, on his back, with his legs open and exposed like a slut while Bart was fully clothed. This was embarrassing enough without Bart stopping to take in the scenery. "What?!" he prompted again when the boy didn't respond.

Bart swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "Nothing, nothing," he croaked, thinking fast. "Just...you've got a real thick patch of hair here. Practically a bush. Might take a while."

"Dude shut up,"Jaime grunted, aiming a kick at Bart's head and grinning when the redhead dodged and laughed. "Let's just get this over with before somebody busts in here and sees us." Bart leered and wiggled his eyebrows but he didn't say anything. He didn't exactly want to get caught either, if only because he didn't want anyone to see  _his_ Jaime naked and vulnerable, so he schooled himself and turned on the trimmer. It was time to get to work.

He started at the happy trail, trying not to think about the cock slowly and inconspiciously swelling up inches from his hand. His movements were methodical and, even though Jaime was more than enough of a distraction with all of his clothes _on_ , he made himself focus. He didn't want to risk hurting him. He knew if he made a mistake here Jaime might very well never speak to him again, especially if he found out it was because he was oggling his dick when he should have been paying attention to the potential weapon in his hand. Unless he appeased him with a lifetime supply of Chicken Whizzees but that was a luxury so far out of his budget that it physically hurt to think about it. Talk about expensive. Bart swallowed, glancing up. Jaime was focused on the ceiling, rhythmically clenching and relaxing his hands on the bedspread. Bart looked down again. He had shaved off most of the hair on Jaime's front to reveal the smooth skin underneath and the base of his cock. Bart reached down and palmed himself through his jeans, stroking roughly. He wanted to get closer, to smell Jaime, and an idea came to him, making his heart race. He looked up again quickly to verify that he wasn't being watched then leaned down until his face was less than two inches from Jaime's crotch - quietly inhaling then letting his warm breath fan out along his length. Jaime gasped and started but Bart just held his hips down, stopping his trimming.

"What are you doing?!" Jaime yelped, struggling back up. He was half hard now and it was an effort for Bart to keep his gaze from wandering lower but he managed.

"Well I  _was_ trying to give you a close shave without knicking you but  _somebody_ wouldn't quit squirming," Bart snarked. It was easier to give off an air of authority when you were calm but indignant and he could see the moment Jaime believed him.

"Oh," he blushed, suddenly self-conscious and rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Sorry Bart. Guess I'm just kinda jumpy." He glanced up at Bart from underneath his eyelashes then offered a small grin, settling himself back on the sheets.

"Don't worry about it hermano," he replied, silently thanking whatever powers that be that Jaime hadn't looked down and seen the tent in his pants. "Just don't move, I'm almost done." Jaime nodded and Bart leaned in again, trimming the hair around the other's balls. He purposely breathed through his mouth, letting the hot air brush over the sensitive sack just to hear Jaime's sharp inhales and see his thighs clench. Bart stroaked himself again, pressing hard with the heel of his hand and biting back a moan. This was so hot. He was sitting here, head between Jaime's splayed legs, revealing more and more of his creamy dark skin until he could see his package in its full glory. God, all of that smooth skin. Bart licked his lips. Slowly he reached his hand up to the areas he had shaved and brushed them off. Jaime jumped.

"Bart?!" he bleated, trying to keep his body still like he'd been told.

"Just getting rid of the excess," Bart lied, dragging his hand along the warm skin in long strokes, massaging just a little. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Jaime's deep blush as the boy hesitated then conceded, relaxing back into the mattress. He grinned. "Chillax dude, this is practically what friends are for, right?" His hand rubbed at the base of his cock just for a moment before moving down to lift his balls. He started shaving again.

"Y-yeah," Jaime breathed, his voice shaky, "yeah." Bart nodded and began trimming long lines fom his balls to his asshole. Jaime was fully hard now and he was concentrating so intensly on staring at the ceiling that Bart was almost certain he was burning a hole into it. With his attention effectively diverted, Bart took the opportunity to stare at his cock. He was pretty sure his mouth was watering; Jaime was definitely a grower. Fascinated, Bart glanced between the length before him and the hole just barely twitching under his trimmer. He hummed and leaned forward a little more, tilting his head just so and letting his hair brush against the underside of his dick. Jaime sucked in a short breath, abruptly cutting off whatever noise he'd been about to make. His fingers dug into his comforter so hard Bart could almost hear the fabric tear. There was a pause. Then Bart did it again. And again. And again. Shaving the skin around his asshole and acting like he was oblivious to all the quiet noises Jaime was making. He reached down to the tent in his jeans and squeezed. At this rate, Bart was definitely in danger of cuming in his pants.

By the time he turned the bikini trimmer off and blew the residual hair off Jaime's crotch (Jaime flinched at that and squirmed even more), they were both panting, hearts racing and embarrassingly hard. 

"There! All done!" Bart chirped a bit breathlessly and Jaime, covered in a light sheen of sweat, reluctantly shut his legs and began the inevitable search for his underwear. "Here," Bart said, sitting on the bed - one arm skillfully hiding his crotch - as he tossed Jaime the boxers. "But I wouldn't put those on just yet amigo," he drawled and Jaime froze in the action of shoving one leg through.

"Why?" he asked warily, glancing at Bart before pulling the boxers on anyway. He had spent far too much time being the only naked man in the room for his comfort.

"You're gonna need to take a shower first," he informed him, pretending to inspect his fingernails. Jaime just looked at him.

"How do you know all this stuff?" he finally asked, shaking his head. It  _would_ be just like Bart to be a wealth of useless information. The boy in question just shrugged.

"I told you. I knew a guy once who was dared into manscaping. Just because he almost died of blood loss doesn't mean he didn't know his stuff," he replied nonchalantly. "Anyway, those residual hairs I tried to get rid of for you? They're gonna start prickling in a couple of minutes. Any longer than that?" Bart winced and sucked air in through his teeth. "Not crash." Jaime opened his mouth to say something but Bart interrupted him. "Hold on hermano, not done. You're also gonna need to go commando." 

Jaime balked at him. "What?! Why?!" he stuttered and Bart waved a hand dismissively.

"Because trust me Blue, those boxers are gonna start irritating your skin. It'll probably start to feel like an itchy inferno down there," Bart said, giving his crotch a meaningful glance. Jaime blushed and tried to subtly hide the bulge in his underwear. After all, they both knew it was there but that didn't mean they had to draw attention to it. "Unless," he purred, "you've gotten youself some silk briefs that i didn't know about...?" He waggled his eyebrows invitingly.

"Yeah right," Jaime scoffed, "like that'll ever happen. Who do you think I am ese?" He walked to his bathroom door and Bart watched him open the door then hesitate at the threshold. He turned around. "We are never telling anybody about this ever," he warned, pointing two fingers at his eyes then at Bart. Bart grinned and mimed zipping his lips, locking them, and throwing the key away.

"What happens in this room, stays in this room," he promised, nodding his head solemnly.

Jaime watched him for a second, allowing his eyes to drag from head to toe and lingering on the arm resting inconspicously in his lap before snapping back to meet his gaze. A wave of heat flowed down Bart's spine at the look in his eyes, time passing by unnoticed. And then the moment ended. Jaime rolled his eyes but he was smiling when he turned to go into the bathroom and take his shower. Bart waited until the door had closed and the lock clicked into place before he popped his jeans open, grabbed one of Jaime's discarded shirts from off the floor, and jerked himself off with it pressed to his face, savoring his scent.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos if you like it!
> 
> I'm also thinking about adding another chapter...? Idk we'll see


End file.
